Sunday, December 21, 2008


My mind is racing,
my heart keeps stopping.
I'm gripping the edge,
but I keep dropping.
And for a moment,
I can't feel a thing.

I'm flashing back
to lost memories.
I skipped ahead
and found you and me.
And like a film
we both faded to black.

But what happened there
will stay in my heart.
Another day,
and we were falling apart.
Sometimes it's hard to dream
of what could have been.

You held me close,
then you drifted away.
Somehow I found
there was nothing to say.
I'm tripping over words
that lie on the ground.

The voice of an angel
keeps calling me.
I close my eyes,
but it's you I see.
Heaven above is closer
than they'd think.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Never the Same

It's been too long,
the world's on fire,
Pain can't be stopped,
can we stop desire?
What we had will never
be the same.

Some days I can see
that the future is bright.
Other times
I can see the light.
It's shining into my eyes,
I reach for you.

Can you steady me?
Can you show me the way?
Would you help me find
the words to say?
I'm stumbling over feelings
just for you.

I've found a way
to keep my heart intact.
But my life's longing
for something back.
Maybe you could help me
find my way.

But I've walked alone
and my heart's been aching.
I carried you,
but my back was breaking.
It's been too long,
how can I find you?

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Little Soldiers

100 little soldiers
lined up at the stakes.
100 little minds,
each reliving their mistakes.

They played in Daddy's uniform,
when they were too young to stand.
They knew the stripes they wore
were theirs when they could command.

All those years of waiting
and all those moments never taken.
They were all for one single dream.
Yet that dream was forsaken.

They didn't know what to fight for,
those little toys of war.
But they were always proud to be
the little soldiers of the big sea.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Winter Light

Winter days, you've left me cold,
my last breath has faded away.
White winter, come closer to me,
and tell me you're here to stay.

Hide me under the silhouettes
of the frosted white pines.
Hold me in the tangled branches
and whisper that you're mine.

Wrap me in the wind,
and cover me in the snow.
Just give me all you can
before you have to go.

You've brought this to me,
this beauty, this bliss.
You've given me a winter's day,
and a white winter's kiss.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Broken Wings

The risen gates won't open up for me.
My wings are far too broken.
I can't hold myself up any longer,
I'm falling.

I've fallen apart, barely breathing.
I keep drifting, my heart is still beating.
My eyes tell you that I'm about to break,
Keep looking at me.

One thousand broken hearted lovers.
One thousand winged messengers.
Take these broken wings,
save me from what I've become.

I'll hide from what I lost in this life.
My soul searches for a place unknown,
I'm so lost, so far away from it all.
I'm so far, so far from home.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

My Life

I spent my days wandering,
searching for a chance.
Sleeping with my eyes wide,
afraid to miss a glance
of what I had lost, my life.

My life has been a question
with no answers ever found.
I've walked these streets too long,
now I'm lying on the ground.

I found my way for a day,
and my life in a night.
But I lost it all again,
I'm done putting up a fight.

To everyone here
I'm just a face in the crowd.
Could anyone hear me
if I shouted out loud?

Tomorrow will be harder,
don't make another mistake.
When you're living my life,
you're broken or you'll break.

Your Heart

It's my tears
that make you want to change.
Look into my eyes,
travel to the depths of my soul.
Say a million things
without a trace of sound.

Consume my life
with the rhythmic beatings
of your heart.
A feeling only felt,
a fight fought for too long.

What you are to the world,
I become the very same.
For you, I'll live a million lives,
for it's a thought of the heart,
and not of the mind.

Thursday, November 27, 2008


Look in the mirror.
Tell me what you see.
Are you staring at a stranger?
Or are you staring back at me?

You lost yourself,
when you looked away.
You searched for your face,
but you were led astray.

You sat, you wondered.
But only questions came.
In the midst of it all,
you only found more shame.

No pain, no gain.
No trust, no love.
What goes around comes around.
Haven't you had enough?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


You're eyes outlined
in sleepless nights,
the tears you've cried.
Is it really too late
to make this right?

I'll be patient,
if you tell me to be.
But behind these questions,
do you know what I need?

Tick tock...tick tock...
your life is wasting away.
No more choices,
only a price you've paid.

And your wall of lies
has crumbled in agony.
Yet that guilt remains,
a sorrow so sweet.
Just wave your white flag
and surrender to defeat.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


I held on as long as I could,
but you kept pulling me down.
I cried out for you to set me free.
But I never moved from the ground.

And now I have fallen,
I'm farther back than before.
There's no place for me here,
I'm not wanted anymore.

Do you really know me?
Will you apologize, let me go?
If you cry me a river from above,
I'll try not to drown from below.

But you don't know me,
you don't wear these chains.
And you'll never know me,
you'll never feel my pain.

Tell yourself you're helping me,
that it's all for the best.
Tell me that I should love you,
that I should feel blessed.

It's hard to tell,
are you lost in all your lies?
Maybe soon you'll remember
why it's you I despise.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Fall Apart

You were staring into space,
you were waiting once again.
Patience took you for everything
you were worth.

Sit down for a moment,
spill your heart onto the ground.
Tell me your secrets,
tell me your fears.
Tell me, and all will be different.

When he left,
he turned the lights off.
you were abandoned.
You were alone once more.
And you cried over him.

You looked at those pictures
of the two of you,
until they were old and worn.
The colors had faded away,
just like your love for life.

So you sit here now,
your expression blank.
Do you know what to think?
Do you know what to feel?

Don't speak of misery
if you can't feel pain.
Remember these words
and maybe you won't fall
apart again.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Sticks and stones have left me aching,
broken bones have left me sore.
You've taken everything
I've ever known away.
Will you take anything more?

Words have come to hurt,
and pain has never fled.
And there comes a time
when tears must be shed.
And we can escape
for a moment or two.

But if life flashed before me,
I might turn around.
And I'd hope to hear
the faintest of sounds
that would save me.
And keep me from breaking.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Fly Away

I'm the first thing you see
as you open your eyes.
But the next thing you say
is you're saying goodbye.
And time seems to stop
as you're waiting,
waiting for me.

The doors start to close,
you're trapped inside.
You run away and find
there's nowhere to hide.
And you're struggling,
walking in circles,
reliving the past.
And no one knows
if you're ever coming back.

But you're slipping into silence,
you don't know what to say.
You can't really see it
but your world is turning
shades of gray.
No one will find you,
you'll blend right in.
It won't be too long
until there's no telling where
you've been.

You're trying to fly
but you're standing down.
You're playing it safe,
but you're still stuck
on the ground.
Dare to dream now
and maybe you can still
fly away.

I'll Find You

Watery child
you open your eyes
and see yourself sitting
alone on the cold ground.

Lost in the night,
you cry out for someone
to find you.
I would have found you.

But something inside of you
is dying.
You're wasting away
all alone.

Hope slips away
as your tears hit the ground.
Waiting to hear
the faintest of sounds
leaves you empty.

But you don't give up yet,
you wait for me still.
But you know,
the last moments you have,
are the moments that kill.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Cry for Help

She cries for help,
but no one answers her call.
Faces blur before her,
until she's nothing at all.

And her hope will fade,
just like her smile.
Her happiness disappears,
but only for a while.

And the sun sets
on another painful day.
All hopes that vanished,
had never truly
found their way.

Yet the days
keep her cold with fear.
In the nights,
she cringes with shame.
But she never realizes
who is to blame.

Maybe each day
there will be someone there for her,
whomever they may be.
Maybe one day,
she will stand tall
and finally be free.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Only You

You make me wonder
If times do change.
If people change,
just like I did.

You make me question
who I really am,
even though you know
who I am meant to be.

You make me think...
maybe one day
we'll have a future,
maybe one day
there will be hope.

You make me realize
who I should become,
and maybe
where I will go.
But most of all,
you make it known
when we'll be together.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

You and I

Love me tender,
love me true.
Please believe
that's all I ask of you.

Don't forget me,
don't leave me behind.
Just remember
We're one of a kind,
just the two of us.

Keep believing,
I believe in you.
Keep telling yourself
we'll make it through.

I know not
what is to come,
But I know now
It's worth knowing
that you are the one.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


You knew that I was there.
Covered by darkness,
it was you who rescued me.

Everyone searched for me,
but you found me
where no one else looked.
It's because of you
I can breathe.

And you sat beside me
that warm Autumn night.
You held me
for the first time.
And my hope returned
once more.

You never stopped believing.
Neither did I.
you came back for me,
and put your hands in mine.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


There's one hope,
one healing.
Tell me you'll take a chance.
There's one moment,
one life.
Tell me you're ready to live.

There's a chance
for the future,
that keeps us holding on.
And the flickering hope
will burn stronger
now that we stand together.

They say
change is constant,
but we'll always make it through.
Just promise
you'll stay with me,
and I'll stay with you.

Sunday, September 21, 2008


The world froze around me
I'm sure for you, too.
I never did know
I had to look for you.

But I found you,
or maybe you found me.
And we walked past the statues
that we could no longer see.

And our hands touched,
finally we were together.
And sparks flew into the air
as we soared off forever.

Saturday, September 20, 2008


I'll be there for you.
Through all the misery,
I'll be there.
And remember me
through the days that pass.

Remember the time
we spent together.
The bronze of Autumn,
the white of Winter.
And how we almost
made it through,
past the scarlet of Spring.

And remember each day
we had shared.
Our first smile,
our first laugh.
The first tear
that slid down my cheek.
And the first heartbreak
that separated us.

But don't give up
the memories we keep.
The pull we each felt
every day, every night.
The pull that sent us spiraling
back to thoughts of each other.

Remember me through it all,
I'll always remember you.
Every minute of every moment.
Every day of each season.
And every second of every feeling
I ever felt for you.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Those Days

Do you remember
when we first met?
And how different we seemed to be?
Yet looking back,
we seemed to be perfect
for each other.
Don't you agree?

Do you remember
when the leaves began to change?
When you first held me close?
It was then I knew
I could love you.
Did you love me?

I know you remember
when the snow began to fall.
And the time we spend together.
I only needed you beside me.
Did you need me?

But do you truly remember
the first tear I shed?
On that same Spring day
I wanted to tell you I loved you.
But when you left me
I knew there was nothing
I could have said
to stop you.


I waited for him,
And prayed he'd come back.
But my door stayed shut
and the slit the corner
of my heart deepened.

And I can feel him.
His arm around me,
my hand in his.
I needed him beside me,
but he left

Yet time still passes,
though each day is longer.
But I'll never forget him,
for each moment spent beside him,
was a moment to remember.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Hold On

You're holding,
the ledge for dear life.
Praying that
there's a chance for you.

And you hope
your hands will stay steady,
that they won't slip.
And you won't fall
far past my reach.

And I feel you
through the spaces
in my heart.
In the corners of my mind.
Come out,
come out
wherever you are.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


I told you I would always be there
for you.
When your blue eyes
I was there.
And when your blue eyes
I waited for you still,
but you left me.
You abandoned me.

I am alone.
You left me here,
just like everyone else.
And you disappeared,
just like everyone else.

I miss you already.
Wherever you really are,
Just let me know
When you decide
to come back for me.
And please,
come as you were.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Wait For Me

I wait for you
in the cold night
by the empty window.
When no one can hear me,
when no one will listen.

I can hear you coming
up the stairs to the door.
Your billowy breaths
echoing against my heart.
You've emptied my heart.

All night, every night,
I pray that you are there
to wake me when I dream
of you and only you,
my head resting on the glass,
clothes stained with thoughts of you.

But until then,
my tears keep falling
down the window panes
where I once saw you.
where you once disappeared
into darkness.

Thursday, August 28, 2008


As you walked out the door,
you took a piece of me.
Under your brown eyes
I'm disappearing.

And I'm slowly fading away.
Trying just to stay
a moment longer.
All I need
Is you next to me again.

And you're not trying
to hold onto me,
just a little bit longer.
And I'm dying inside.
I can't see you

Monday, August 25, 2008

I Miss You

I miss the sound of you downstairs
late at night
when you fell asleep
with out care.

I miss the roughness of your beard
in the morning
when you stayed with me.

And most of all,
I miss your laugh.
Night and day,
You were always there for me.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Too Late

The innocence was there
in your eyes.
The mask you wore
was one of maturity,
of wisdom and experience.
That wasn't you.

And your hands,
bronze from the setting sun.
They slid down the warm hood
of the car you sat upon.
You tried so hard to relax.
But you feared the future,
as did I.

I found your hands
reach for mine.
And the comfort
from your warm brown eyes.
I was safe with you
underneath the melting sky.

And the willow above us
outstretched its arms,
and cradled us
as she began to weep.
For time was running out,
and we were long past gone.

Friday, August 22, 2008

You Left Me

You left that morning,
your soft steps
echoing through the house.

As you pulled your jacket on
you tried to stop
the rough fabric from waking us.

Behind the wall
I was there.
But you didn't see me
like I saw you.

You didn't know I was there,
watching you as you
away from us.

I knew it would happen,
I could have stopped you.
But you were happy,
for once, you were happy
I could tell.

Halfway up the hill,
you smiled
as you looked back at our house.
I couldn't stop you
if you needed to go.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


You said
'There's a path you need to choose.
One way or another,
you'll make it through.
But don't forget
I'm here if you need me.

'And the path your on
may throw you off course.
But I need you to hold on tight.
So just put up a fight,
just like I taught you to.'

And I agreed but so solemnly.
I knew I was different than I used to be.
But I knew the words you spoke were true,
And I knew I could believe in you.

But then I came to a crossroad
so where could I go?
My heart said yes
but my head said no.
So what could I do?
I looked for you.

Friday, August 15, 2008


You still linger in my dreams.
I am waiting for you
to come back to me.

I believed in you.
I had faith in you.
Until this day
I was right by your side,

But now I am alone.
Alone in this world
trying to find you.
You left me here.

Now I wait.
I wait until I need you
to help me,
to carry me back home,
back to where it all began.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Now or Never

So you try to tell me
things are going to change.
But do you mean it?

Can you really say
I'm going to stay the same?
I can't wait for you

It's not as if
you left me
and took my heart with you.
It's not as if
I can love you
after all you've put me through.

So how can you say
you'll always love me?
And we'll always have a chance?
I keep asking myself
if it's right
to leave while I can.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Come Back

I wished
all would be the same
let it come true.

I prayed
for you once more
come back to me.

I saw you,
and you saw me.
tell me all is forgiven.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Tell Me Again

So you once said
that there is truth in everything.
I have found no truth in anything
and you have done me wrong.

Someone once said
that a true friendship
is more important than love itself.
You tell me love should triumph.

So I once said
that I could never
come between you two.
But it has happened,
So all I ask
is if my knowledge is worth
anything at all.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Hidden By Pain

We hide deep below,
Just below the ground.
In fear of the fiends,
the people we once knew.

We are unsure
of what might come.
Of who we can trust,
If traitors lurk among us.

The stiff boards below us
and the cold walls closing in
remind us that there will be an end.
There is too little air
in this small room,
and we may not be free again.

Still we hide,
cowering in the darkness.
Afraid of all who surround us.
It is now that our closest friends
become strangers.

In the darkness,
We pray for freedom,
for strength and mobility.
And above all,
the courage to overcome
the pain.

Past the End

Past that building, I used to stop
On those cold winter days.
To remind myself of what I lost,
and what I had to gain.

Although time was taken
from the covered rooftops,
we all felt the sorrow,

It all ended
when the winter came.
The past was erased,
and nothing was the same.

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Smoking Jacket

I am the smoking jacket
you left so long ago.
I hang on the wall,
never worn again.

You left me in your closet
after you cured yourself.
Your scent of pipe tobacco
still lingers in my stitching.

You wore me twice
every day.
I was a part of your life
for thirty years.
Before that time,
we were inseparable.

You wore me at night,
after dinner with coffee.
You wore me at twilight,
when wine was served.
You wore me every day,
but no longer.

Now here I hang,
You left me here.
You bettered yourself,
so for that I am grateful.
But why did you leave
your precious jacket
hanging in the attic?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

My Everything

They say in the shadow of the sun,
there is hope.
A new day has begun,
And there are new chances.

They say in the light of the full moon,
there is possibility.
That anything can happen
in that moment.

They say in the sparkle of the stars.
there are dreams.
And when wished upon,
your dreams come true.

You are my
and stars.
You are my everything,
and I wouldn't have it
any other way.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


If I saw you in a crowded room
you'd be the one I'd see.
If I were to dream one night
It would be of you and me.

I know what they say
about love
is untrue.
But since we've met
I can only think of you.

You're the one and only
thing in my life that's real.
I'm begging, please.
Let me tell you how I feel.


You ignored me.
I called to you
on that day so long ago.
"Please, please
Stay with me."
You couldn't hear me,
you didn't listen,
and walked on,
You left me.
I never said goodbye.

I never said goodbye,
You left me,
and walked on.
You didn't listen,
You couldn't hear me.
"Stay with me!
Please, please!"
On that day so long ago,
I called to you.
You ignored me.

Monday, July 14, 2008


Your hand in mine,
Our fingers intertwined
Through the moonlit dark.
We would sit atop the cold stone wall,
On top of the world.

Remembering you,
The warmth of your body
Holding onto mine,
And the haven you were
To me.

Remembering us,
Your shadow welded to mine.
The mirroring lake
And the moon beneath the waves.

Remembering then,
And the sweet scent of crimson roses
That perfumed the night sky.
And the full, white moon
Lighting our path into serenity.

Saturday, July 12, 2008


She comes as a false witness,
Separating us by rights.
But for how long?

She comes as a journey,
Keeping us along rough paths.
But will it always be this way?

She comes as a barrier,
Splitting us apart.
But we will be together soon.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


Nobody truly understood

To them it was all unknown.

That our past can never be let go,

For the future,

Is set in stone.

I remember the days

When it was just you and I.

It was only two of us,

And we never had to ask why.

But we were crossing a path

That was new in our minds.

And we were searching for something

That we never could find.

Another mistake we had to make,

Sorrow flew into our souls.

Robbing us of all our memories,

Leaving our hearts as empty holes.

It was the day everything changed,

It was then we realized

We would never be the same.

A memory that I still kept was you,

Looking into my brown eyes,

You had called them liquid pools.

We had sat and remembered the days

When we were such fools.

Now all is done,

But how to explain the truth?

There is only one way:

There was me,

And there was you.

None For Me

You told me you were mine,
That you would never let go.
You told me you loved me,
And I loved you so.

You never would have left,
If she hadn't come along.
You had many choices,
and you chose wrong.

If times are changing,
But we stay the same,
You can never come back to me.
It is you who I blame.

You say yours is mine,
And mine is ours,
But what is left for me?

Tuesday, July 8, 2008


Among the bushes,
by a familiar face.

So we hide in shame,
to not attract a crowd.

And confronted,
Then boldly enough,
We empty our hearts.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

And What Is New Love?

A new chance,
a new hope.
love is found

A new chance,
a common bond
shared by two.
A connection
like no other.

A new hope,
confusion no longer rests
upon the shoulders.

Taking a leap,
giving it all you have,
and praying to god
that someone cares enough
to catch you
before you fall.

Friday, June 27, 2008

My Comment

A quick comment of my own...the poems
titled "Forever", "Nightmare", and "Done" are
just my way of, well, putting my heart on paper.
All of those have not been edited, they are just my
way of letting go. So please excuse all errors or poorly
communicated pieces of each!
I already said the heart on paper line, so I won't use
it again.
Thanks always!


I said I understood

But after a while

I did not.

You told me

Like it was nothing special

Why could you not see

That what you were doing

Was wrong?

I never thought

I would say this,

But I’m done.

I’m done with the pain,

I’m finished with the sorrow,

And all else you have given me.

I will not be made a fool of.

I’m done with you

And your cruelty,

I don’t need you anymore.

I’m done.


Only in dreams

Had I thought

This could happen.

But those dreams

Were nightmares.

You told me

Like it was

No problem,

Like it did not

Hurt anyone.

Over the phone,

No less.


I miss him,

I loved him.

But love comes easily

To those who

Are loved.


Is a true feeling.


The only feeling.

I need to know,

Can two people

Last forever?

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Why Me?

Why now?
Please, tell me why.
I thought you loved me,
but apparently not enough.

You say you're not ready,
well, is that the truth?
Why is it
I have to live
without you?

Saturday, June 14, 2008

A True Love

You have a smile like the brightest star,
I wish you would keep letting the world see.
Don't ever let your happiness go far,
It is the reason you always kept me.

Your childish ways make me adore you,
And I love how you always make me smile.
But how to prove that what I say is true?
Let's just say, for you I'd walk for miles.

But my love for you is worth so much more,
But I cannot list every single way.
Every day with you I spend I just soar,
Like a dizzy bird just about to sway.

There's no real way to show my love for you,
But please believe me when I say it's true.

Upon A Night

Confused feelings
kept haunting me.
That night in bed,
I prayed.

I prayed to God,
'Let me dream of him,
if it is true love.
If not,
I will know what to do.'

I wished upon a star
that night.
I wished I would see his face,
That I would dream
of him.

That night came and went,
but the dream became a blur.
It was then I realized the truth.

I had wished to see him,
And that was enough.
I had wished to see him,
It was meant to be.

Confused feelings
once haunted me.
I had prayed
And they disappeared
upon a night.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


A castaway island,
a place in my mind.

It was snatched away,
It was never given back.

Where you once stood,
There is emptiness.

There is emptiness,
Where you once stood.

It was never given back,
It was snatched away.

A place in my mind,
A castaway island.

Monday, June 9, 2008

The Worst Summer Day in WMS History

Today was a record...the worst summer day in Weston Middle School history. It was 98 degrees and sunny in Weston, but no one could enjoy the weather. Four schools were shut down in the area, accept for ours. It was chaos.

The lights were shut off, as well as the electronics in the school, for the air conditioning was conveniently broken. But alas, nothing was able to keep the temperature down. 300 kids had entered and stayed in the nurses office, but were moved into the band room. That was in less than two hours. After one hour had passed, 40 kids had been sent home. Before long, the troubles were past dehydration and on to actual sickness.

An ambulance parked in front of the school and everyone panicked. Students were vomiting and dry-heaving, some even fainting. By the time notes were taken by the EMT's, release forms were signed. The extremely sick kids had to sign or go to the hospital. Luckily, there were only three: a diabetic, and two average girls. One of them was me.

Now over 600 kids are left in a boiling and crammed building, not knowing what will happen. the only way for them to know is to wait and see.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Teenage Blues

You said I lied,
You misinterpreted my words.
You told me you didn't believe me,
I said I was sorry.

Rumors were spread by you,
But I can't believe
you decided to do it on your own.
Your partner in crime,
Is the one person
you knew I hated.

The greatest day of my life
was ruined by a mistake.
on being a teen, Izzy."
You could have said that to me.
No wonder they call it
the unlucky thirteen.
But of course, there was nothing
you wanted to say.
I didn't even get a
"Happy Birthday."

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

It's Not Over Yet

I said I was done,
But I was wrong.
They got into my head
and my head changed who you
really are.

Call it
Call it
Call it
what you will.

I know now that I
was wrong,
And I'll never leave you,
no matter what they say.

I said I loved
someone else.
That wasn't what I
really felt.

Call it
Call it
a misunderstanding,
Call it as you see it.

All I know now
is I can't live without you.
Don't leave me,

Sunday, June 1, 2008

No More

Maybe it's time
to free ourselves.
Free ourselves of the burden
we both carry.

Maybe it's time,
to grab a hold
of reality,
and finally understand
that this will never work.

I once thought I loved you,
but you are not
who I thought you were.
But if I know one thing is true,
I know that I love
someone else.


I've met someone.
I knew them before
but not in the same way.

I've met someone.
Who seems to be quiet,
who seems to be shy,
but has a different side
that I can love.

I've met someone.
Someone I can talk to.
Someone I can be myself with.
But why can't I

Thursday, May 29, 2008

To Me

My heart is covered in bruises,
from the shots people take at you.
My heart is bleeding my love,
But my love will continue to flow
through me.

You're smile is the brightest star
In the middle of the night.
When I am near you
my sun never rises.

You light up a room
with your humorous ways,
I love that you make me laugh
even in my darkest of days.

Your outgoing style
has always been a favorite of mine.
The way you used to dress in
sweatshirts and jeans.
Now you vary your look,
I think it was just
for me.

I love how every time I see you,
You don't care how you act.
You can scare me to death,
make me choke with laughter,
and make me smile no matter
what you do.

I can't live without you,
I don't care what anyone says.
You make my life complete,
you are wonderful
to me.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Saturday Night At The Memorial Day Fair

Finally alone,
waiting in line.

I said I was scared,
you held me.
You didn't let go.

Onto the ride,
we started to move.

I was too scared,
I reached for your hand.
I held it tightly.
You held back
and didn't let go.

We hit the top of the ride.
Right before the free fall
I thought you would let go.

Our hands went up
together as we fell.
Our fingers
still intertwined.
You didn't let go.

Yet Another Update

Hello? Where is everybody?
Hi everyone,
Just another reminder to leave comments!!!
I really would like to hear what everyone has to say!!!
Thanks everyone!!!
Don't forget to put your heart on paper,


Here we have a girl,
an ordinary girl.
She follows the crowd
and does what she is told.
She will blend in with the rest,
She will not stand alone.

Here we have a boy,
but not an ordinary boy.
He tries to stand out
but does not succeed.
He tries to be a leader,
but cannot find a way in.

Here is another girl,
an extraordinary girl.
This girl is a leader,
She is loved by all.

Here is another boy,
an extraordinary boy.
This boy knows how to impress.
This boy knows greatness.

But is there more to be said
about this popular pair?
How are they better?
Are they really?

What about the ordinary pair?
There is much to be said about both.
Each failure, each triumph
is embraced by all.
They are truly great.
They are themselves...
They are not fake.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Bleeding Heart

One sole droplet
from the fragile pink shape.
It hangs there,
never to hit ground.

It hangs there,
taunting those who watch.
Held captive inside the heart,
never to be let go.

the flower hangs there,
while prying,
eyes are set upon it.
Then it endures more pain
than before.

Torn off of the stem,
the bleeding heart is crushed
with one close of the hand.

Maybe ripped down the middle,
so that inside shows through.
Not as pretty on the inside
Unless pain is understood.

No longer thought of as perfect,
No longer thought of as superior.

Others watch from their bush,
all hanging from one stem.
It is their common link,
it is what holds them together.

Now the bleeding heart
is off of them stem,
forgotten on the ground.
No common link
is shared anymore.
Left there to stay until found,
when it can be ripped apart again.

Pick Your Flowers

Each person asks
at least once in a lifetime,
what flower am I?

Am I the tulip?
Opening up just enough to show
my inner beauty
to all?

Am I the rose?
Growing among many others
but still beautiful,
still special,
in my own way?

Am I the daisy?
Is it that no one knows my true being?
Do my white petals only hide
who I truly am?
Is it my sun inside,
that is really me?

Am I the bearded iris?
Manly enough on the outside,
yet still beautiful and sensitive
on the inside?

We are more than one flower,
but not every single one.
We are all a bouquet of
We are all flowers,
each one special
and unique.
But what is in your bouquet?
Each one is different...
pick your flowers.


You hide in fear,
what will I think of you?
A coward?
A fiend?

Why try to tell me,
And remove your feelings?
Insecurity is a blessing on my behalf,
but on yours it is a curse.

I am no longer afraid,
Never again will I be.
Your pathetic excuses
are no longer my burden.

Your manipulative ways
will never again
pull me down to your level

Leave Me Here, Don't Look Back

Hey there you.
I'm back again...
Are you ready to open up
to me?

Hey there you.
I see you trembling in fear.
You see me coming near you and you
don't know what to do.

"Well what's happen to us, now?
Has this affected anything?", you ask.

Just open you're eyes.
This is just the beginning.

Don't look back
on whatever you'll find.
Don't look me in the eye.

I know that there's a way...
to get you to tell me.

What have you done?
There must be something you're hiding.
Has it just begun,
or did I not see it?

Hey there you.
I see you...
looking all smug.

Hey there you.
You think you've gotten away with

Hey there you.
Do you think this is all over?
Not even close.

"Well what's happen to us, now?
Has this affected anything?", you ask.

Just open you're eyes.
This is just the beginning.

Don't look back
on whatever you'll find.
Don't look me in the eye.

I know that there's a way...
to get you to tell me.

What have you done?
There must be something you are hiding.
Has it just begun,
or did I not see it?

What has happened here?
How did you get this way?
Why didn't I see this coming?...
Everyone did but me.

Hey there, former friend.
Why did you have to change
and leave me broken hearted?

Don't look back
on whatever you'll find.
Don't look me in the eye.

I know that there's a way...
to get you to tell me.

What have you done?
There must be something you are hiding.
Has it just begun,
or did I not see it?

"Well what's happen to us, now?
Has this affected anything?", you ask.

"Just open you're eyes." I say.
"This will never end."

You're Mine, I'm Yours

Tell me you love me,
that you're not scared
to open your arms
and let your fears go.

Tell me there's a chance,
that no matter what
you'll care.

Tell me I'm safe,
that you're my haven
and you'll be here for me.

Tell me you love me,
that no matter what,
you're mine and
I'm yours.

What Every Girl Wants To Say To The Boy They Love

There are some things that can't be said over the internet.
They need to be said when you can hear my voice, and I can hear yours.
I'll do the best I can, but try to imagine that it's me speaking.
Every moment we've spent together has flown by, and I can't even describe how much fun it is to be around you, even through the rough patches.
But if I know one thing is true, it's that there isn't one moment in the day that I don't think of you.
So people might not think your cute, but I do, and that's all that matters.
You may not be the fairytale prince charming, but I've learned that there comes a day when fairytales and dreams are nothing more than fantasy, that there never really is a perfect relationship.
I've woken up from my dream, but I have you.
And I now realize that the fairytale I've always wanted has been right in front of me all this time.
You're the only guy who I can be myself with, and who really understands me.
I'm not asking for anything serious anymore, just that you'll stay with me.
Act however you please, just stay with me.

One Chance, One Wish

Another day, another mistake.
More tear stains on my clothes,
red eyes cannot be faked.

Hidden in shame,
a face will be recognized.
Another person
we have come to despise.

It has begun.
Fear latches onto me,
gun in hand.
Sleek and smooth is the sound,
the shot heard in my head and heart.

How can life be missed
when life was never lived?
The loss of one loved,
The pain of those who suffer.

If I had one wish,
It would not have happened.
The voice in my head
would not have existed.

If I had one wish,
I would give back what I had taken.
Why not me instead of them?

Nothings Going To Change

The morning light

Shines through the window,

Has the impression

Of an eerie glow.

Plaster a smile

Upon my face, try to

Put myself back

In place.


Oh… nothing’s

Going to change, nothing’s

Going to change, another

Day all the same.

Oh… nothing’s going to

Change, Nothing’s going to change,

A new birth’s born every day…

Doesn’t matter what

Game I’ll play.


Silver liquid drops

Hit the ground.

Try and hear
the faintest sound.

The sun streams in,

Down comes the snow.

A casted shadow

Of a ghostly glow.


The morning light

Shines through the window,

Has the impression

Of an eerie glow.

Plaster a smile

Upon my face, try to

Put myself back

In place.

Be careful you don’t

Get left behind,

There will be

Nothing left to find.


Doesn’t matter what game,

I’ll play.

Life Story

If I stand on the rooftops,

I look down at my story.






My journeys,

my adventures.

All that I have been through

is there.

I close my eyes and I try,

I try to remember.

Every detail sinks in,

every detail of my life.

Every second of pain,

every second of pleasure.

I open my eyes,

and my life is before me.

My entire life,

Is in my hands.

Lastly Spoken




Forcing out the words,

“I’ll never forget you.

I will always remember you,

Forever and ever.”


He turns and walks away,

Slowly fading,

A distant memory.




Trying to remember once again,

That special person,

Who is gone.

Gone forever.

His last words,

Still fresh in your mind,

Never truly absorbed.

“I’ll never forget you.

I will always remember you,

Forever and ever.”

You Scare Me Most

Is there something inside of you?

What’s compelling you to act this way?

Lack of affection?

Poor upbringing?

What gives you the right?

Why transfer your anger to others

And make them feel your pain?

Don’t hurt me in this way.

No one deserves to suffer.

Don’t make this about me.

Keep your feelings yours

And I’ll keep my feelings mine.

If you ask me what scares me,

I just might say you.

To the bullies of the world:

Forget about hate,

And don’t discriminate

Against all of us

that you’re treating like nothing.

We’re all human beings here,

Can you act like one?

If Only I Was Stronger

If only I was stronger,

In however many ways,

Maybe then I wouldn’t be

Such an easy target.

For bullies or strays.

Maybe if I was stronger,

I would find other ways

To find hope and wisdom.

Looking farther than my backyard,

Farther than the mountaintops

I long to grab hold of.

Please let me be stronger,

For I want to be free.

Free of the burdens

I carry with such effort.

Free as the bird which I long to be.

To sing my songs

Without care or fear.

Or fly away when hurt was near.

Nobody Wants To Hear What You Have To Say

Nobody wants to hear what you have to say,
Anger has blocked out the light,
Try again another day.

If you stay like this, you will keep people away,
Keeping you alone day and night,
Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.

If you try to act in a kind way,
Nobody will believe you even if you are right,
Try again another day.

Act as you may,
But there is anger in your sight,
Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.

Once more I pray,
Do not engage yourself in a fight,
Try again another day.

If you believe you can, you are right,
Do not stop now you are already on your way.
Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.
Try again another day.

Gazing At The Stars

While gazing at the stars,
I see lights.
The small holes in the sky
are shining brightly.

A black sheet,
draped over heaven.
The only proof of this
are the little holes.
The holes that are poked through the sky.

Seeing a plane or helicopter,
You may think of going from one place to the next.
But they are searching.
Searching for distant worlds.
The worlds that lie past the night sky.

While gazing at the stars,
I see distant worlds.
Distant worlds that are covered.
Covered by the sky.


Coming back to this place,
these people,
these sights.
I remember not wanting.
Not wanting what I thought,
was small and meager.
The center,
the schools,
All the wonders I had,
I had taken for granted.

Looking back on the life,
that I once had,
I know it is the life,
that I now thrive for.
Everything I desire now,
is no longer significant.
My love for my old life,
is even more imperative,
than my selfish requests.

Remembering the library,
full of memories,
which no longer stands.
Remembering the oak tree,
where my friends and I once sat,
uprooted for a fountain.

Memories flood in.
Memories that cannot be bought.
Memories so heartwarming,
that remembering a mere detail,
would make anyone weep.

that eventually turn into stories.
Stories that resemble childhood dreams.
Stories that resemble the life of a loved one,
who has gone,
out of the stream of time.
Heartfelt memories,
that come from the soul.

Coming back to this place,
these people,
these sights.
I remember not wanting.
Not wanting what I thought,
was small and meager.
The memories,
the stories,
All the wonders I had,
I had taken for granted.
And just like that,
it was gone.
The life I once had,
was gone.
I have nothing essential from it.
Accept my memories.

Leaving For The First Time

“I’ll be home before you know it.” She whispered. “What’s life for if not to take risks?”

Franci left on Sunday, July 8, 2007. For three weeks she would be on her own, with no family to protect her. Her destination: Europe. She would climb the Eiffel Tower in Paris, take a gondola ride in Italy, and taste the chocolates of Switzerland. Franci was ready.

Her journey began at Exit 41. From there she would make her way towards the airport with her tour group. Our family met her at the Exit. Both of our brothers rushed up to hug her. Mauri, being the fastest, reached her first. He wrapped his arms around her and wouldn’t let go. He had always been by her side. When Mauri let go, Emerson quickly latched onto her. Franci looked my way and smiled softly.

Franci and I walked with our family to the van. She bent down, looked me in the eye, and said, “I’ll be home before you know it. What’s life for if not to take risks?” And after that, she boarded the van. Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw my sister wave goodbye. But not out of misery, out of joy. She was doing the right thing. I can still hear those same words in my head. “I’ll be home before you know it.”

Friday, May 23, 2008


Hi everyone,
I am the same Bela from the CWP Writer's E-Anthology...
but now I have my own blog for anyone who wants to read my work!!!
I have gotten some requests for poems that I absolutely
if anyone else has any requests my writer's email is:

Let me just tell you what Heart On Paper is all about. Let's
start with the name. Whenever I write, I feel that I should be
putting everything I'm feeling into my writing. My passions,
my pain, everything. A little piece of me, of my heart, is always
in my work.

The poems and stories will range from oldest to newest starting
at the bottom. Don't be afraid to tell me what you think of each!

If anyone has anymore questions...I will be more than happy
to answer them!!! Either email me from the name above, or
post a comment!!!
Keep writing and don't forget to put your heart on paper!!!