Saturday, June 14, 2008

A True Love

You have a smile like the brightest star,
I wish you would keep letting the world see.
Don't ever let your happiness go far,
It is the reason you always kept me.

Your childish ways make me adore you,
And I love how you always make me smile.
But how to prove that what I say is true?
Let's just say, for you I'd walk for miles.

But my love for you is worth so much more,
But I cannot list every single way.
Every day with you I spend I just soar,
Like a dizzy bird just about to sway.

There's no real way to show my love for you,
But please believe me when I say it's true.


Gina said...

Woot woot! Good job, Bela! One custom-made sonnet hot off the presses. The one thing I would ask you to change (and this could be somewhat important, depending on how badly you want a "perfect" sonnet) is the rhythm of a few of the lines, because they don't fall within the iambic pentameter. That just has to do with the stress of the syllables, like this: but SOFT what LIGHT through YONder WINdow BREAKS (that's a line from Romeo & Juliet.) Iambic means that the stress is on the second syllable, and the pentameter means there are five iams. Get it? :D Otherwise it's perfect, and most of the lines do fall within the rhythm. Don't get me wrong, this is a challenging thing to do and you certainly delivered! I'm waiting for your challenge... heh heh heh... >=D

Bela said...

Thanks, Gina! Gotcha! (and I know it's from Romeo and Juliet, how good is that play?) Ooohh...I forgot about my challenge to you...hmm...
I'll keep thinking of one!

Maddie said...

this was good, bela you seem to keep surprising me with all the different styles you can master. if you do not write for a living, or if you don't share your work, i think it could keep you from making millions, and make me very upset with you.

Bela said...

Thanks Maddie! And who knows...maybe I will!!!
But you guys have to, too!!!

Maddie said...

of course........u will give me a small cut for seggesting that, and for being the most amazing person in the

Bela said...

Sorry, I'm already paying for my parent's retirement. (Existing comment dripping with sarcasm)