Thursday, May 29, 2008

To Me

My heart is covered in bruises,
from the shots people take at you.
My heart is bleeding my love,
But my love will continue to flow
through me.

You're smile is the brightest star
In the middle of the night.
When I am near you
my sun never rises.

You light up a room
with your humorous ways,
I love that you make me laugh
even in my darkest of days.

Your outgoing style
has always been a favorite of mine.
The way you used to dress in
sweatshirts and jeans.
Now you vary your look,
I think it was just
for me.

I love how every time I see you,
You don't care how you act.
You can scare me to death,
make me choke with laughter,
and make me smile no matter
what you do.

I can't live without you,
I don't care what anyone says.
You make my life complete,
you are wonderful
to me.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Saturday Night At The Memorial Day Fair

Finally alone,
waiting in line.

I said I was scared,
you held me.
You didn't let go.

Onto the ride,
we started to move.

I was too scared,
I reached for your hand.
I held it tightly.
You held back
and didn't let go.

We hit the top of the ride.
Right before the free fall
I thought you would let go.

Our hands went up
together as we fell.
Our fingers
still intertwined.
You didn't let go.

Yet Another Update

Hello? Where is everybody?
Hi everyone,
Just another reminder to leave comments!!!
I really would like to hear what everyone has to say!!!
Thanks everyone!!!
Don't forget to put your heart on paper,
Bela

Fake

Here we have a girl,
an ordinary girl.
She follows the crowd
and does what she is told.
She will blend in with the rest,
She will not stand alone.

Here we have a boy,
but not an ordinary boy.
He tries to stand out
but does not succeed.
He tries to be a leader,
but cannot find a way in.

Here is another girl,
an extraordinary girl.
This girl is a leader,
She is loved by all.

Here is another boy,
an extraordinary boy.
This boy knows how to impress.
This boy knows greatness.

But is there more to be said
about this popular pair?
How are they better?
Are they really?

What about the ordinary pair?
There is much to be said about both.
Each failure, each triumph
is embraced by all.
They are truly great.
They are themselves...
They are not fake.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Bleeding Heart

One sole droplet
from the fragile pink shape.
It hangs there,
never to hit ground.

It hangs there,
taunting those who watch.
Held captive inside the heart,
never to be let go.

the flower hangs there,
while prying,
mischievous
eyes are set upon it.
Then it endures more pain
than before.

Torn off of the stem,
the bleeding heart is crushed
with one close of the hand.

Maybe ripped down the middle,
so that inside shows through.
Not as pretty on the inside
Unless pain is understood.

No longer thought of as perfect,
No longer thought of as superior.

Others watch from their bush,
all hanging from one stem.
It is their common link,
it is what holds them together.

Now the bleeding heart
is off of them stem,
forgotten on the ground.
No common link
is shared anymore.
Left there to stay until found,
when it can be ripped apart again.

Pick Your Flowers

Each person asks
at least once in a lifetime,
what flower am I?

Am I the tulip?
Opening up just enough to show
my inner beauty
to all?

Am I the rose?
Growing among many others
but still beautiful,
still special,
in my own way?

Am I the daisy?
Is it that no one knows my true being?
Do my white petals only hide
who I truly am?
Is it my sun inside,
that is really me?

Am I the bearded iris?
Manly enough on the outside,
yet still beautiful and sensitive
on the inside?

We are more than one flower,
but not every single one.
We are all a bouquet of
sensitivity...
beauty...
kindness...
We are all flowers,
each one special
and unique.
But what is in your bouquet?
Each one is different...
pick your flowers.

Goodbye

You hide in fear,
what will I think of you?
A coward?
A fiend?

Why try to tell me,
And remove your feelings?
Insecurity is a blessing on my behalf,
but on yours it is a curse.

I am no longer afraid,
Never again will I be.
Your pathetic excuses
are no longer my burden.

Your manipulative ways
will never again
pull me down to your level

Leave Me Here, Don't Look Back

Hey there you.
I'm back again...
Are you ready to open up
to me?

Hey there you.
I see you trembling in fear.
You see me coming near you and you
don't know what to do.



"Well what's happen to us, now?
Has this affected anything?", you ask.

Just open you're eyes.
This is just the beginning.




Don't look back
on whatever you'll find.
Don't look me in the eye.

I know that there's a way...
to get you to tell me.

What have you done?
There must be something you're hiding.
Has it just begun,
or did I not see it?



Hey there you.
I see you...
looking all smug.

Hey there you.
You think you've gotten away with
Everything...

Hey there you.
Do you think this is all over?
Not even close.



"Well what's happen to us, now?
Has this affected anything?", you ask.

Just open you're eyes.
This is just the beginning.



Don't look back
on whatever you'll find.
Don't look me in the eye.

I know that there's a way...
to get you to tell me.

What have you done?
There must be something you are hiding.
Has it just begun,
or did I not see it?



What has happened here?
How did you get this way?
Why didn't I see this coming?...
Everyone did but me.

Hey there, former friend.
Why did you have to change
and leave me broken hearted?




Don't look back
on whatever you'll find.
Don't look me in the eye.

I know that there's a way...
to get you to tell me.

What have you done?
There must be something you are hiding.
Has it just begun,
or did I not see it?



"Well what's happen to us, now?
Has this affected anything?", you ask.

"Just open you're eyes." I say.
"This will never end."

You're Mine, I'm Yours

Tell me you love me,
that you're not scared
to open your arms
and let your fears go.

Tell me there's a chance,
that no matter what
you'll care.

Tell me I'm safe,
that you're my haven
and you'll be here for me.

Tell me you love me,
that no matter what,
you're mine and
I'm yours.

What Every Girl Wants To Say To The Boy They Love

There are some things that can't be said over the internet.
They need to be said when you can hear my voice, and I can hear yours.
I'll do the best I can, but try to imagine that it's me speaking.
Every moment we've spent together has flown by, and I can't even describe how much fun it is to be around you, even through the rough patches.
But if I know one thing is true, it's that there isn't one moment in the day that I don't think of you.
So people might not think your cute, but I do, and that's all that matters.
You may not be the fairytale prince charming, but I've learned that there comes a day when fairytales and dreams are nothing more than fantasy, that there never really is a perfect relationship.
I've woken up from my dream, but I have you.
And I now realize that the fairytale I've always wanted has been right in front of me all this time.
You're the only guy who I can be myself with, and who really understands me.
I'm not asking for anything serious anymore, just that you'll stay with me.
Act however you please, just stay with me.

One Chance, One Wish

Another day, another mistake.
More tear stains on my clothes,
red eyes cannot be faked.

Hidden in shame,
a face will be recognized.
Another person
we have come to despise.

It has begun.
Fear latches onto me,
gun in hand.
Sleek and smooth is the sound,
the shot heard in my head and heart.

How can life be missed
when life was never lived?
The loss of one loved,
The pain of those who suffer.

If I had one wish,
It would not have happened.
The voice in my head
would not have existed.

If I had one wish,
I would give back what I had taken.
Why not me instead of them?

Nothings Going To Change

The morning light

Shines through the window,

Has the impression

Of an eerie glow.


Plaster a smile

Upon my face, try to

Put myself back

In place.


(Rephrase)


Oh… nothing’s

Going to change, nothing’s

Going to change, another

Day all the same.


Oh… nothing’s going to

Change, Nothing’s going to change,

A new birth’s born every day…

Doesn’t matter what

Game I’ll play.


(Rephrase)


Silver liquid drops

Hit the ground.

Try and hear
the faintest sound.

The sun streams in,

Down comes the snow.

A casted shadow

Of a ghostly glow.


(Rephrase)


The morning light

Shines through the window,

Has the impression

Of an eerie glow.


Plaster a smile

Upon my face, try to

Put myself back

In place.


Be careful you don’t

Get left behind,

There will be

Nothing left to find.


(Rephrase)


Doesn’t matter what game,

I’ll play.

Life Story

If I stand on the rooftops,

I look down at my story.

Anger.

Remorse.

Betrayal.

Joy.

Sorrow.

My journeys,

my adventures.

All that I have been through

is there.

I close my eyes and I try,

I try to remember.

Every detail sinks in,

every detail of my life.

Every second of pain,

every second of pleasure.

I open my eyes,

and my life is before me.

My entire life,

Is in my hands.

Lastly Spoken

Whispering.

Stuttering.

Weakness.

Forcing out the words,

“I’ll never forget you.

I will always remember you,

Forever and ever.”

Regret.

He turns and walks away,

Slowly fading,

A distant memory.

Dreaming.

Remembering.

Wanting.

Trying to remember once again,

That special person,

Who is gone.

Gone forever.

His last words,

Still fresh in your mind,

Never truly absorbed.

“I’ll never forget you.

I will always remember you,

Forever and ever.”

You Scare Me Most

Is there something inside of you?

What’s compelling you to act this way?

Lack of affection?

Poor upbringing?

What gives you the right?

Why transfer your anger to others

And make them feel your pain?


Don’t hurt me in this way.

No one deserves to suffer.

Don’t make this about me.

Keep your feelings yours

And I’ll keep my feelings mine.


If you ask me what scares me,

I just might say you.

To the bullies of the world:

Forget about hate,

And don’t discriminate

Against all of us

that you’re treating like nothing.

We’re all human beings here,

Can you act like one?

If Only I Was Stronger

If only I was stronger,

In however many ways,

Maybe then I wouldn’t be

Such an easy target.

For bullies or strays.

Maybe if I was stronger,

I would find other ways

To find hope and wisdom.

Looking farther than my backyard,

Farther than the mountaintops

I long to grab hold of.

Please let me be stronger,

For I want to be free.

Free of the burdens

I carry with such effort.

Free as the bird which I long to be.

To sing my songs

Without care or fear.

Or fly away when hurt was near.

Nobody Wants To Hear What You Have To Say

Nobody wants to hear what you have to say,
Anger has blocked out the light,
Try again another day.

If you stay like this, you will keep people away,
Keeping you alone day and night,
Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.

If you try to act in a kind way,
Nobody will believe you even if you are right,
Try again another day.

Act as you may,
But there is anger in your sight,
Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.

Once more I pray,
Do not engage yourself in a fight,
Try again another day.

If you believe you can, you are right,
Do not stop now you are already on your way.
Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.
Try again another day.

Gazing At The Stars

While gazing at the stars,
I see lights.
The small holes in the sky
are shining brightly.

A black sheet,
draped over heaven.
The only proof of this
are the little holes.
The holes that are poked through the sky.

Seeing a plane or helicopter,
You may think of going from one place to the next.
But they are searching.
Searching for distant worlds.
The worlds that lie past the night sky.

While gazing at the stars,
I see distant worlds.
Distant worlds that are covered.
Covered by the sky.

Memories

Coming back to this place,
these people,
these sights.
I remember not wanting.
Not wanting what I thought,
was small and meager.
The center,
the schools,
All the wonders I had,
I had taken for granted.

Looking back on the life,
that I once had,
I know it is the life,
that I now thrive for.
Everything I desire now,
is no longer significant.
My love for my old life,
is even more imperative,
than my selfish requests.

Remembering the library,
full of memories,
which no longer stands.
Remembering the oak tree,
where my friends and I once sat,
uprooted for a fountain.

Memories flood in.
Memories that cannot be bought.
Memories so heartwarming,
that remembering a mere detail,
would make anyone weep.

Memories,
that eventually turn into stories.
Stories that resemble childhood dreams.
Stories that resemble the life of a loved one,
who has gone,
out of the stream of time.
Heartfelt memories,
that come from the soul.

Coming back to this place,
these people,
these sights.
I remember not wanting.
Not wanting what I thought,
was small and meager.
The memories,
the stories,
All the wonders I had,
I had taken for granted.
And just like that,
it was gone.
The life I once had,
was gone.
I have nothing essential from it.
Accept my memories.

Leaving For The First Time

“I’ll be home before you know it.” She whispered. “What’s life for if not to take risks?”

Franci left on Sunday, July 8, 2007. For three weeks she would be on her own, with no family to protect her. Her destination: Europe. She would climb the Eiffel Tower in Paris, take a gondola ride in Italy, and taste the chocolates of Switzerland. Franci was ready.

Her journey began at Exit 41. From there she would make her way towards the airport with her tour group. Our family met her at the Exit. Both of our brothers rushed up to hug her. Mauri, being the fastest, reached her first. He wrapped his arms around her and wouldn’t let go. He had always been by her side. When Mauri let go, Emerson quickly latched onto her. Franci looked my way and smiled softly.

Franci and I walked with our family to the van. She bent down, looked me in the eye, and said, “I’ll be home before you know it. What’s life for if not to take risks?” And after that, she boarded the van. Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw my sister wave goodbye. But not out of misery, out of joy. She was doing the right thing. I can still hear those same words in my head. “I’ll be home before you know it.”

Friday, May 23, 2008

Update

Hi everyone,
I am the same Bela from the CWP Writer's E-Anthology...
but now I have my own blog for anyone who wants to read my work!!!
I have gotten some requests for poems that I absolutely love...so
if anyone else has any requests my writer's email is:
ladyviola1@optonline.net

Let me just tell you what Heart On Paper is all about. Let's
start with the name. Whenever I write, I feel that I should be
putting everything I'm feeling into my writing. My passions,
my pain, everything. A little piece of me, of my heart, is always
in my work.

The poems and stories will range from oldest to newest starting
at the bottom. Don't be afraid to tell me what you think of each!

If anyone has anymore questions...I will be more than happy
to answer them!!! Either email me from the name above, or
post a comment!!!
Keep writing and don't forget to put your heart on paper!!!
Bela