Wednesday, December 3, 2008

My Life

I spent my days wandering,
searching for a chance.
Sleeping with my eyes wide,
afraid to miss a glance
of what I had lost, my life.

My life has been a question
with no answers ever found.
I've walked these streets too long,
now I'm lying on the ground.

I found my way for a day,
and my life in a night.
But I lost it all again,
I'm done putting up a fight.

To everyone here
I'm just a face in the crowd.
Could anyone hear me
if I shouted out loud?

Tomorrow will be harder,
don't make another mistake.
When you're living my life,
you're broken or you'll break.


Gina said...

One question: How is it the speaker's choice if she's asking everyone what the answer is?

Gina said...

Is this poem about the same thing as today's other poem? I'm confused... Like I said in my extremely long comment on the other poem, a more specific title would shed all the light needed on this poem.

2nd to last stanza: metaphor consistency issue: you are a face in the crowd, which woud generally tend to make you invisible, not inaudible.

Bela said...

No, she's not asking everyone...she's searching everywhere. BIG DIFFERENCE. =D

This is more like MY story, not my dad's and mine. Call perception of my own life. How much more specific can you get? Kidding, kidding!

Yes, good catch. But by saying that I am a face in the crowd, I'm implying that I blend into it all. So, my voice would blend into everyone else's. REALLY good catch, though! I didn't even see that!

Bela said...

Okay, so I deleted the last 2 lines from the poem. I just didn't like the whole rhyme scheme...tres tres corny, no?

Maddie said...

i loved the last two lines of this poem :)

Bela said...

Haha! Thanks, Maddie!