Sunday, December 19, 2010


On hollow street
there's a home in my heart,
these eyes are vacant;
a soul torn apart
that the wind has whipped
far out of my reach.
Your accusations
all but fasten me to the stake,
slowly, gently,
I have begun to break
in the slightest ways that I wish
you could see.
Your invisible standards
are now clear as day
I fear I've lost control
over words that should convey
my confession to you;
what a monster I have become.


T.A. Chance said...

I'd hardly consider you to be a monster, Miss Bela. But though I've been too busy to post on my blog recently, I felt the need to comment on this marvelous work.

And here you are: this is wonderful: full of hidden metaphors and symbolism, completely hidden to the untrained eye, and yet the words are strung together so beautifully that any reader must feel blessed to have taken part in this work.

I notice you added a bit of rhyming to this one. Interesting. Why did you try that? I so enjoyed your free forms before. However, I will mention that these were quite tastefully added, not at all cliche. For that, you should be proud.

You're very talented. Fifteen. I simply cannot believe that. I'll write more later, my friend.

T.A. Chance said...

I forgot to add, you certainly have not lost me.

Bela said...

Haha, Chance, you really know how to make someone's day :D a very heartfelt thank you, pal. I was aiming towards a slight variation, that's why I added the rhyming.

And I'm glad you were able to notice the metaphors and symbolism, you never fail me there :)

PS - a gigantic thanks for keeping with HOP. Yup, fifteen...I guess I just got lucky!

T.A. Chance said...

Luck had absolutely nothing to do with it, my dear :)