Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Who We Used To Be

I remember
who we used to be.
Lying under the stars,
dreams twinkling
as we pointed into the night sky.
Catching clouds in memory;
an elephant, a clown,
the teddy bear in our arms.
Counting blades of grass,
browned wildflowers crinkling
in the loose grip of a child.
Never wondering
what comes next;
living for each moment,
and the freedom of comfort.
Wherever we were,
wherever we've been,
two lives
slowly separate.
Times are changing,
and we are forgotten.


Maddie said...

heyy darlingg! first of all, i am loving the imagery. i lovee the tying together of finding figures in the clouds and relating them to the things in your life. the air of almost mystique was very interesting as well. i lovedd the "counting blades of grass, browned wildflowers crinkling" becasue its so clear. the only part i didnt understand a little was
"the light is flickering
on two separate lives.
Times are changing,
and we are left behind."
but it was the use of the separate lives... if that makes sense. you manage to use "we" throughout the piece, but its like your missing that TRUE sense of we. and i didnt understand the light is flickering unless you are referring to the sunlight or time, or something of that sort...

anyhoo thats my interpretation :)

Bela said...

THANK YOU! And I'll tie that end together! :)

Gina said...

"Left behind" confuses me...

I absolutely LOVE my creative writing class! We had to do a big packet creating a character, and I really think mine was a pretty slap-darn realistic piece of work. :) Today was Super-Hero Day for Spirit Week, so we all designed our own super-heroes, mine being (of course) Panicky Ski Jump Puppet Man.

Gina said...

Just curious: why did you choose to break up the poem into little sentences, instead of stanzas? I think it's interesting.

Bela said...

Hahaha, only you, Gina :)

Not so sure. I felt like it read as more of a memory, while stanzas made me think of chopped thoughts.

Ah, yes. Try as hard as you can, but you'll never get inside of my mind. MWAHAHAHAHA! I consider this a major accomplishment.

Maria said...

Gahhh I need to write something!!!

:( :( :(

WV: Aggingro